Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Life After Depression

Life After Depression

When I was in that deep dark hole of depression, all I prayed for was to get better.   I wanted to live a normal life again. After two years,  my prayer is working.  I am getting back to life.  The problem is, life has changed.  I've have changed.  I feel lost.  This life I so desperately craved for so long, is scary.  

While I was in my dark hole, life went on without me.  People left my life.  I left my career.  Even things that stayed the same, now feel foreign.  I have forgotten how to live life. 

I never want to go back into the dark hole again.  But I knew how to survive in that hole.  It is what I have known for two years.  Even though life was hell in the hole, I knew how to live it. 

I think that there is a part of me that doesn't want to let go of that hole.  In some crazy way, it has become a safety net that I am holding on to just in case this new life gets to hard.  

Sometimes I can hear it calling me.  The crazy, terrifying thing is, sometimes I want to listen.  

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