Forgetting the bags

Forgetting the bags

I have really been struggling with my depression and anxiety for a long while. I finally decided that medication alone wasn't enough so I decided to see a therapist. I was hoping she would give me some coping tools because life should not be this hard.

I went into the appointment feeling broke and in need of tools. What I came out with was a feeling of being kinda normal. That was a strange feeling!  

I have been looking at my depression and anxiety as a problem that was messing up my life. What I discovered was that my messy life was causing my depression and anxiety.   Wow!

The therapist started asking about my life.  I start rattling off the events of the last four years. The death of my mother, addiction from self medicating, marital problems, surgeries including a Hysterectomy, changing hormones, and the loss of children, they moved out of the home.  She looked at me and said "Of course you are having a hard time dealing with depression,  look at what you have been through"  It was not until that point when I looked back at all I had been through, that I ever thought I might have a legitimate reason for being depressed and anxious.  I had been carrying all those bags but never realized how heavy they were.  

I think, when we get used to dealing with clinical depression, we sometimes forget to look for other reasons that may be adding to our depression and compromising recovery. 

We need to check for bags.